There's just so much going on right now. I feel like I'm suddenly facing a point in life where I have to decide who I really am inside and what are the things that matter the most to me.
Which is more important, having someone in my life who understand my thoughts and feelings on DD and D/s and who I can share this lifestyle with, or having someone who meets my 'vanilla' needs; who's romantic and makes me feel adored? Does it have to be one or the other? I just don't know.
The only thing I do know is that I couldn't be truly happy living my life vanilla. It's just not possible for me to live a full life without the structure that DD D/s offers for me. I'm just wired the way I'm wired and I accept this.
But then I hear this little voice whispering into my ear asking could I be truly happy without someone to hold my hand walking down the beach, someone who wants to take me to dinner, someone who just simply wants to be with me even with no 'lifestyle' issues involved.
Damn, I want both. I want the hearts and flowers tied up with rules and paddles... I think I'm about to have it all... and it scares me that I could be wrong.
Maybe I'm just over-tired and rambling, over-thinking things again...
1 day ago
2 comments:
I hope it works out for you
You can have both. My husband is both, but we were together years before we ever even heard of this lifestyle and we actually started before we learned about it, finding that we were not at all alone! I think the difference is whether you and your future partner know why you do what you do. We, for instance, are doing it to be better husband and wife (we were literally falling apart in marriage), and that means being a slave or discipline is not the focus, but keeping the marriage alive and well is. We have rules, and punishment and discipline but it's all designed (and often changed for correction if not serving our ultimate needs and goals) to save our marriage. That is the sole purpose. By having this, we have flowers, trips, hand holding, cuddling, loving, kind words, etc. But it's all in line, you know? Good luck and thanks for making me realize how lucky I am. Cleo
Post a Comment