Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Closing this Blog

Any relationship I ever had with J is over, I don't want to hear from him and I don't want to know what's going on in his life. Sadly he doesn't seem to feel the same way about me because he keeps coming to this blog and reading. It's the main reason I haven't had much to say on here lately, it's just kinda creepy to know that anything I say is being read by him.

I'm closing this blog and opening another one. The new one would be a DD, D/s, spanking blog. It would be my thoughts and feelings, concerns and joys, that I could honestly put into words without having the thought of J's reading it enter my head. I hate the feeling of editing myself here and I want someplace where I can be open and free again without concern.

If you would like the addy of the new blog, please email me at and put something like 'your new blog' in the subject line so I know you're not spam. I HATE closing this blog, but it's not able to serve it's purpose anymore thanks to him :(

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Well, my back is mostly back in shape. I've found the most amazing cure for when it does go out... spending time with S! I arrived at his house barely able to walk, and standing up straight wasn't even an option. Hours later S came home from work and cuddled me to him, then rubbed my back for awhile. Not only did that make me mobile again, but after a couple of days with S I was walking upright and feeling no pain. The occasional ache yes, but pain was thankfully a memory!

S didn't allow my bad back to get me out of some consequences I had coming, but he did make sure I was in positions that were supporting and didn't make things any worse. I'm sure he'd probably disagree with me, but I kinda got the impression he held back a wee bit due to my back, and it's just another reason I trust him as much as I do.

Recently I was able to spend a couple of days with S and Sw (Sir wife) and lets just say that now the reason I can't sit comfortably has nothing to do with my back and everything to do with the 'kisses' I have from the center of my bottom to the middle of my thighs.

Different people have different words to describe them; bruises, marks, welts, track-marks. But I like to call them kisses. To me they are reminders of where he kissed me with an implement hard enough (or often enough) to leave me a reminder of how much he cares about me. When I have to go back home they're something I can look at in the mirror and remember that I'm not alone, that someone cares enough about me to protect me from the monsters in the world. When I see them I can almost imagine him kissing me where each one is and telling me to be a good girl and to take care of myself for him.

I'm proud of my kisses, and I float in a great headspace while I wear them. Then comes the sad day when I go to look at them in the mirror and see they've faded away... of course then I think about how the next time I see him he'll give me more and I smile again :)