Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I've had the house to myself for the last 10 days, well if you don't include having the two dogs that is lol! It's been great not having to answer to anyone, being able to watch whatever I want on tv, eating what I want when I want. I don't miss Mom one little bit to tell the truth. I'm now looking even more forward to March when she's gone all month, let alone her being up North for the entire Summer!
The one thing I wasn't looking forward to this Summer was not having her car available, but I cured that problem earlier this week. I'm now the owner of a 1996 Lincoln Contentional. No, it's not the sweet little sporty car I'd love to have, but it's affordable, the payments are handable, and it does have alot of bells and whistles! Amazingly enough what it doesn't seem to have are cup holders!! How in the heck did Lincoln make a car with no cup holders?
I did get the opportunity to get together with new friends and old friends. I spent the day at the beach with a wonderful friend and really enjoyed our time together. I think that's the defination of a wonderful friend... you don't have to do anything 'special' to enjoy being in that persons company. The new friends were great to meet!!! She's as wonderful in person as she is on the phone and forum, and meeting her husband made me really miss having someone special in my life. Seeing the two of them together was hard sometimes, while I was happy for them, it made me kinda sad for me. Seeing the 'old' friends was a hoot. We don't get to see each other nearly often enough, yet we know each other in ways most people don't know us. It's great to have a friend who knows your history so well because she was there when it was 'current events', not history.I've been able to bump my work hours from 32 to 40. It helps in the paycheck, but blows having weekends free. Then again, it's not like I've got a personal life for it to be interfering with.
Which leads me to what hasn't been happening here. I'm not dating. I realized the other day that a year ago was 'our' last vacation together. It was a miserable vacation with me being really sick and him being totally 'un-caretaker'ish'. I'm not whiny when I'm sick, but it really hurts when you're running a fever and feeling like death warmed over and the person you're with treats you like you've got the plague. I'd like to be dating... I think. I don't like being lonely, but I'm afraid of being hurt again. I put soooo much of myself into my last relationship that I'm terrified: terrified of being that hurt again, terrified of not being able to give that much of myself to someone else because I'm terrified of being that hurt again. Why can't Prince Charming just come knock on the front door, introduce himself and whisk me away to Happily Ever After land?
If you're my Prince Charming; aka over 6'4", strong in your personality yet capable of being romantic, and know what HOH and OTK stand for... let me know and I'll give you directions to my front door.
So, so far 2009 isn't great, but it's not as bad as it could be either...