Sunday thoughts

Well, another week bites the dust! This last week has been strange to say the least. What a shame it wasn't strange in a fun way.

Got asked out, freaked out like a total twit. Tried to get overtime at work, almost lost a day on the schedule. Made the appointment to get poor Maxx neutered. Have been totally confused about my thoughts about J yet once again.

Today was supposed to be spent doing a movie and lunch with C, but she had to cancel. I totally understand why she had to cancel, but I was really looking forward to us getting to spend some girl-time together. Hopefully things will work out soon for us to spend a day together... even if it means forcing her into a bathing suit and just hanging at the pool WEG!

My brain is still jumping all over the place when I think about J. There were sooooo many things wrong with that relationship, and I can honestly lay 98% of them directly a his feet. He treated me like his dirty little secret and refused to allow me into his 'real life'. My 2% of the blame comes in allowing it to happen and not throwing a total fit about it much sooner than I did. It probably wasn't fair of me to wait until this had been going on for almost 6 years and we were on vacation to unload how I was feeling. Though I probably would have not said anything if I hadn't been so sick at the time... apparently being ill and feeling awful removed my internal filter that had me keeping too much to myself.

Oh well, I'll admit I still miss 'us' and still cry over it from time to time. I'll also admit I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the time when I don't miss him. Gee, I'm still pretty confused, but at least I'm clearheaded enough to acknowledge it! :)