Asked out!

Yesterday I said I wasn't ready to date, then today I got asked out on a date!

I don't interact with many people at work (most people are sleeping during my working hours), but I do see the newspaper delivery people and the maintenance people when they're arriving for work. One of the newspaper delivery people I see is a man who's in his late 40's who delivers the paper as his 2nd job. I won't mention what his first job is, but I'm shocked with what he does for a living he needs a second income. He's sweet, funny and greets me each morning with "good morning beautiful". We've had some fun flirting with each other since June and I do look forward to seeing him in the mornings.

Well, today I ran into him at Publix when I was buying my bi-monthly junkfood stash for work. He was teasing me about how much junk / candy I had in the cart and I was teasing him about the icky veggies he had in the basket on his arm. We were laughing in line and I was just enjoying laughing and flirting with him. When I was checking out he off-handedly made a comment that blew me away. He asked me out to dinner and dancing at this club we'd been discussing while in line.

Suddenly I felt light-headed and like my stomach had dropped 10 feet. I felt like I sounded like an idiot when I said thanks but no thanks. I hadn't realized how freaked out I would be just by having a nice guy ask me out. I am embarrassed by how freaked out I got. I had men ask me out when I was with J and it never really phased me, so I don't understand why I felt like I did today. I finished paying for my junk and headed to the car. While I was standing there he came over and actually apologized for upsetting me. I'm so damn embarrassed!!

I'm going to see him this morning when I'm at work, so I'm 3 hours away from leaving for work and already dreading it.

Sometimes I could kick J in the... you get my point. Before he broke my heart the idea of being asked out would have made me feel great, now apparently it makes me feel like throwing up :(